Up, Up and Away

Comparison is the thief of joy. I wrote about this the summer before our wedding. That summer, I was trying to wrap up my fast track graduate program in new media, finish a full time unpaid magazine internship, squeeze in some work so I could pay wedding bills, all while living in my parent’s basement because Apb was 14 hours away in Chicago. I would sit on the train from Toronto to Burlington sketching out different packages I would one day offer as a wedding planner instead of thinking about what job positions in the journalism industry I should be applying for. I was broke, I felt lonely and couldn’t understand why I had been handed an unfair slice of life. I wanted to be with Andrew and do normal things like go grocery shopping together. I wanted more money to plan the wedding I dreamed of and couldn’t ever afford. Really, I wanted what others had.

I get emails sometimes from people who wonder how I am so genuinely happy all the time. And don’t get me wrong, I am. I’m immensely blessed and doing my absolute best to live my ideal life everyday. But sometimes little slivers of doubt creep in, or so and so does something seemingly bigger, better, more beautiful, more unique, more pinworthy, more awesomesauce, and I think all of the gifts in front of me are just worthless. I insult the life I’ve build, the life Andrew and I have built, the things we’ve been given, the relationships we’ve made. We forget to praise and be grateful for exactly what’s in front of us! Comparison is like a powerful vortex, sucking you in and leaving you scrambling for balance and stability on familiar ground.

In college I was an NCAA gymnast. After my incredibly successful but difficult freshman year I decided to transfer schools for a wealth of reasons. Immediately I sent an email to my original first pick of Universities to attend, asking the head coach if they had room for an incoming sophomore. I was desperate to be somewhere where I assumed I’d be a perfect fit. This school to me had everything I was missing at the previous school, and this school would no doubt, fill a massive void. Coach eventually returned my email and with one sentence taught me one very important lesson I try my best to always remember. I’ll never forget the smile on my face when I read her concise response: ”The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.”

It’s not. Sometimes it’s yucky, brown grass, littered with weeds. But maybe that grass is in the backyard so you don’t really see it. And sometimes that grass is so dang green and gorgeous but what you don’t realize is there’s a lawn manicuring team coming out three times a week to make it look that way. So focus on your own grass, figure out what you can do to make it greener every day and hone in on what you’re good at, what makes you special and what you can be proud about. Your joy is far too valuable to just give up in the name of comparison and chances are you’re truly full of amazing untapped potential.

So what can you do today to soar up, up and away? What makes you GOOD at your craft? I wanna hear it below.

And that fun photo is by the lovely Kelly Braman. It’s one of the hundreds she snapped for the new relaunch! Eeek! xoxo

20 comments on Up, Up and Away

  1. Brittany on

    I think this might be my favourite line ever:

    “So focus on your own grass, figure out what you can do to make it greener every day and hone in on what you’re good at, what makes you special and what you can be proud about.”

    Thankyou. I needed that today :) xo

  2. Such a beautiful post, Rhi. It’s so true, it’s very easy to get caught up in the day in and day out of comparison. And unfortunately, social media makes it all the more easier to do so. I signed up and attended the Making Brands Happen webinar last week and one of the wise things said (among the many) that keeps resonating with me is “clear the junk and clutter” (because we’re surrounded by a lot). If we can focus on clearing out that junk and pay attention to our inner super hero, there’s nothing we can’t do! Thanks for the inspiring post this morning. So to answer your question, today I’m going to provide my client with the best meeting experience ever because I’m GOOD at connecting with my clients, and they always turn into friends :)

  3. Thisoklahomagirl on

    One of my most favorite quotes is: “The grass is greener where you water it.” Love this post!

  4. Lauren on

    Love this post Rhi! Comparison is so truly the thief of joy.

    Probably the most often reason that I’m down is because I’m comparing myself to what someone else has or what someone else is doing. I’m not sure if it’s getting older, or maturing, or all the wonderful reminders in blogland, but focusing on me and reminding myself that I am so blessed and that I have enough and I am enough has changed so much of my life.

  5. What a perfect post – loved reading it! And I love that picture of you! Launch day is coming soon – YAY!!

  6. This is JUST what I needed today. So thanks for sharing!! And it’s so true too.. As a just-starting-out blogger & event design business owner I can totally relate to the little doubts & wanting to be on other people’s grass, and how I can get there as fast as I possibly can. I’m currently in an event class and my teacher said something that really hit me too: she said “When you believe in yourself, so will others”

    And btw, you have an awesomesauce blog :)

  7. Shalyn on

    LOVE this so much…especially after our heart to hearts… This is perfect. I miss you so much love. Cheers to being better and more awesome sauce. :) xxxoo

  8. Kathrina on

    Not sure any words to comment on this post will even begin to express how inspiring it was to read this. Thanks for sharing this Rhi.

  9. Such an inspiring post, Rhi! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, trials, and ways that you beat the comparison trap! I feel like your blog is a ‘Big Sister’ to so many of us–always offering amazing advice + a push in the right direction!:) So excited for the launch and to see the rest of the darling photos! xoxo

  10. ashley on

    thanks for sharing this, rhi. one of the beautiful, but misleading things about the blogging world is that we often share the brightest spots in our lives and some readers think that’s what our lives are like all the time. i think what you go through is something we can all relate to. i know it’s something i personally have struggled with. along the same line of advice the coach gave you, i’ve read that the grass is greener where you water it. xoxo oh and ps – when are we going to see some sweet leo pics?? :)

  11. A perfect post! Especially because a lot of times that green grass isn’t even real, it’s just a facade! Even if your grass has a few brown spots at least you know its real and its yours! Or if you live in Az you say screw the grass and get rocks instead. :) It’s important to always do whats right for you and not worry about the rest. Thank you for the reminder.

  12. Great post!! I love your ‘grass’ analogy. Thanks for the important reminder x

  13. Lena on

    Oh boy–I was working on this just last night. xoxox always.

  14. Lori on

    How did you get to be so wise at such a young age? Hugs xo

  15. Marina McAvoy on

    You are so beautiful. <3

  16. Margaret on

    Rhi, I am you the summer before your wedding. Ha! Living with the fiance’s parents to save for a home, just out of college, working full time using my business degree which I’ve realized doesn’t actually feed my soul.. but on the side I’m building my blooming photography business to pay for my upcoming wedding in April, starting a blog and working on stationary – because THAT’S really what I love to do. Can’t pay the bills with it yet, though. Overwhelming at times. You are totally right about comparison being the thief of joy. I’m getting better with this, but often times I feel like it’s a race to get to where I want to be. Seeing so many amazing women living their dreams makes me feel as though I’m wasting my life if I don’t reach my goals super quickly.

    P.S. Thanks for your sweet comment on my post from yesterday. :) Xo

  17. Jess on

    This is such a beautiful and inspiring post Rhi. Just what I needed today. Thanks :)

  18. Nicole on

    I just want to give you a big hug. You inspire me beyond belief. I want to be a little more like you… and crazy enough… I just might be! We’ll have to catch up in the next few weeks!

  19. ashlyn on

    seriously I don’t know where to begin. you have a wonderful way of words + you struck my heart strings. i needed these exact words to be able to calm my achy heart and mind. i am constantly wanting normal, but what is normal? honestly, i just want to be happy + right now is my chance to do just that. i need to start being more positive + give myself more credit then i do — because i deserve that. thank you so much for all your honesty when you write. not only is your work gorgeous — so are you inside + out. i am sure this may sound silly, but when i read your blog + look at your twitter + instagram photos i feel like we could be best friends in real life & i hope i get the chance to meet you someday — whether it’s because you are my wedding planner or just bc! either way it will be exciting. can’t wait for your new launch, it will be amazing! xx ashlyn

  20. Victoria Derrick on

    I love your heart, your honesty, and your attitude.
    This post was just the reminder I needed. I fall into this trap more often then I’d like to admit, which leads me to waste time instead of doing what matters. Watering my grass so to speak.

    To answer your question… What makes me good at my craft? I genuinely care and listen. :) Not saying others don’t, I just do it my own little way.

    I am truly excited for your up coming re-launch.

    xoxo

  21. Truly inspiring message. I struggle with comparison ALL THE TIME. Comparing my work to others, my Etsy shop to others, my style to others, my body to others, etc. And you know what, it just drains ME. I’ll definitely take your message to heart and remember I’m doing what I love because I LOVE IT. And not because of anything else.

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