pep talk tuesdays Archive

I have to write this today. And just let the words flow out, yo!

Not to sound like a broken record here, but last year around this time now I was an emotional mess. I had a hard exterior and everything in my life put together but inside I was sad, sad, sad and frustrated more than ever. Did I mention sad? One day I’ll share more on why I felt this way but for now it’s not important. What’s important is what I am about to tell you below. Forgive me for so many words but I’m a big advocate for making decisions in life that are in line with living your best life. I didn’t always think this way but I do now and it’s a good thing. I’m a super sensitive, wear-my-heart-on-my-sleeve kind of girl and can easily get upset over something insignificant or temporary so I’m often thinking of ways to maintain my positivity and focus on the good. Sometimes, that doesn’t always happen. Sometimes life sucks and you have to kick yourself in the ass to regroup. Here’s what I think and wanted to share.

Define What Matters. You know what matters to me right now? My husband matters. Our marriage really matters. The third year of marriage is the hardest. I know this because that’s where we are right now in our journey together. Marriage is like the female body in a sense. Yeah it sounds wacko but stick with me here. In high school some girls have these rocking bodies and a metabolism that can process McDonalds and late night pizza runs like a boss (I wasn’t one of those girls FYI). We buy teen mags with airbrushed women posing provocatively on the front and constantly feel like our worth is determined by how we too look; in real un-airbrushed life that is. Then we get a bit older and life catches up with us. Our hard as hell work outs don’t seem to do much. We think man I had it GOOD in high school and didn’t even have to walk a mile before dropping five pounds. As time goes on you realize you can’t just sit around and expect to feel or look good. You have to WORK at it. Marriage is like that to me. You want to reap the benefits of a healthy and loving marriage? You have to WORK. And the work is so so worth it as I’ve learned in the past month. Do. Work.

My family matters. My future family and whether or not it involves babies matters. My job and my business and my clients matter. My home and how it feels and looks matter. Yup how it looks matters to me. This doesn’t mean it’s perfect. It doesn’t mean we have the nicest or most expensive things. It just means it’s where I am the most physically, as a working-from-home-professional and self-proclaimed home-body, and if I’m going to live here and make memories here, I want it to be in a way that makes me happy. My health, our crazy pets, our well-being, our space, our free time, all of these things matter. My close friends, the ones who call to check on me, who listen to me on the phone, who send sweet notes and give me love love love, these people matter. Everything else? Does not matter. Not important.

You Are Enough. Why do we tell ourselves we’re not enough? Why do we let others make us feel like we aren’t enough? This sweet thing wrote a post on instagram yesterday that reminded me of the post I wrote over here. I’m ALWAYS feeling like I’m not enough guys. Maybe I don’t share it publicly but it happens often especially as of late. I’m not skinny enough, pretty enough, rich enough, successful enough, my two college degrees are somewhere out there (seriously, I don’t even have them framed and couldn’t tell you where they are right now. I’m embarrassed) and not doing much for me, I’m not saving lives, I’m not making serious bank, I’m shopping at Hobby Lobby during my business hours looking for the perfect shade of soft ble ribbon for a ceiling treatment. What? I can’t cook a carrot cake from scratch, I can’t wake up at 5:30 am to go to the gym like some women do. I can’t stay up past 11:00 pm because I get sleepy like a baby. I can’t remember my times tables past the 5′s. I can not run a mile if I tried. I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t. I’m sick of it.

Because I am. I am more than enough. I am a good wife. I am a good fur baby mom. I’m not a real human mom (ha that sounds funny doesn’t it?) because right now wouldn’t be a fair time to bring a life into this world and I think that means I’m enough in and of itself. That’s a decision Andrew and I have made together as a team, and that’s enough too. I’m not saving lives but instead I’m enriching them. And helping people make beautiful and special memories. I’m not rich but I’m fulfilled. I’m so creative and have so much to give it hurts sometimes. That’s plenty. And those Hobby Lobby trips, as trivial as they feel, are what I’m paid to do. So I should embrace it and know that I am enough. Enough already with not feeling like we’re enough as women, business owners, moms, wives, teachers, people, friends, whatever. We are all enough. More than enough most days. We need to start believing it and telling others to know and believe it too.

Define Your Own Version of Success. I was on the phone with my sweet friend Leah this morning for almost an hour. God I love that girl and am so thankful our paths crossed early last year because she’s become a true friend and such a bright spot in my life. Leah is a perfect example of focusing on what matters. She inspires me DAILY to just let go. New followers? More weddings? More overtime in the office? More superficial being? Hell no. Ain’t nobody got time for that. We talked today and I told her the only thing holding me back these days is MYSELF. Because I have this stupid crazy hard time defining my version of success sometimes. Success so often is what everyone else makes it out to be. Success to some is more followers, more features, 25 weddings a year, more comments on a post, more money, more friends, more more more. I’m sick of that too. Because more is further away from enough and the only way you’re going to live a fulfilled, happy and menaingful life is to define your own version of success. Write it down. Memorize it.

With that being said I’m off tonight to the airport with my husband. We are meeting my parents, my brother, and an old neighbor friend of ours, in sunny, beautiful, Jamaica. I had to write this post before I left because the jumble of words above has been heavy on my heart. I hope whoever you are, wherever you are, whatever you do or are planning to do, that you know you’re enough. The photo above was taken in Chicago by my sweet friend Shalyn. Who just announced her business’ new name. Hooray! Head over to her blog to check it out. Enjoy your day and I’ll be back next week xoxo

I’m sure you’ve heard of the Pay It Forward movement. You know, cover the cost of groceries for the teary eyed mom with three kids in front of you when her two cards decline. Or help carry the elderly man’s groceries to his car in the pouring rain. Or my personal fave because it’s so easy and unexpected, pay for the person’s Starbucks drink behind you in line just to make them smile. What’s a couple extra bucks every now and then, right? They always say, the best way to lift your spirits is to lift someone else’s first. It seems an unlikely truth but one that certainly holds its own weight.

This morning my sleepy behind ventured out to my local Starbucks nice and early to tackle a pile of work that needs my attention. I stood in line behind seven people, with not one person coming in behind me. It wasn’t until I gave my card to the cashier that I felt someone finally step in line at my back. I turned around and asked the middle aged man standing there what he wanted. I had to actually ask him a few times because he was so surprised I wanted to cover his order. “Why are you being so nice?” he asked carefully. I simply told him that it’s important to pay it forward in life.

I come to find out that this man was buying a Skinny Caramel Macchiato for his wife. His wife just lost her Dad and was feeling really down so he was getting a drink for her. I told him that I hoped her drink brought her a sliver of comfort in this tough time. And when I sat back down at my table to open my laptop I saw him stand in front of the Starbucks window and wave bye to me. He mouthed ‘Thank you’ again and nodded his head to me before hopping in his truck to leave. That’s when I noticed he was wearing my alma mater’s mascot and letters on his sweat shirt and hat.

The world has the potential to be so so great. I believe it and know it’s possible with something as simple as buying a stranger’s coffee. So whose with me? I encourage you too to pay it forward somehow today whether it be a big or really small gesture of kindness and love. Let me know below what you love to do to pay it forward! Above photo from the amazing Shay Nelson who is one of my faves to enjoy coffee with. Go give her a hello! Happy Tuesday, guys xo

If we wait until we’re ready, we’ll be waiting for the rest of our lives.

I went through and cleaned up my Pinterest boards a little over the weekend. I came across the above quote that I had pinned months ago and it really hit a nerve with me. I’ve taken so many risks in business and life over the past year and as a result really feel like I’m starting to settle into a sense of being and a lifestyle that feels good on the inside. But here’s the catch. My life, while wonderful is so so far from perfect. There’s things I’m working on consistently, things that I get worked up over, bad habits I could afford to break, good habits I could stand to keep, and the list goes on. Living with purpose and meaning takes work, and making decisions to get to where we want to be is uncomfortable.

But that’s exactly what makes the above so lovely, right? That little quote taunts us a little and makes us wonder if we’re really wasting time just waiting for that perfect moment to do whatever it is we want to do. For me, at one point, it was starting my business (thankfully I didn’t dwell on this for too long). Then at another point it was choosing to rebrand my business. Then shortly there after it was adding floral deisgn to my offerings. That move took a lot of guts to make for a lot of reasons. For some of you maybe it’s getting to the gym to lose the weight you gained during your pregnancy. Maybe it’s going back to school to get your masters. Or maybe it’s something as simple as cleaning out the garage in anticipation of spring. We all have things we put off or hold back from because we don’t feel ready.

So get ready. And do it. Read this post here too. Around this time last year I took a blogging, social media and all around life break because I wasn’t ready to live the life I wanted. For a good two weeks I cried big girl tears and felt sorry for myself every single day. Poor Andrew probably dreaded coming home to my misery. I felt like I had to make decisions based on how they would make others feel and I absolutely felt the negative effects of thinking this way. Fixing this mind set wasn’t an overnight fix but where I am now 365 days later is truly and absolutely 110% an amazing blessing.

Go on with yo badselves today, blogettes. You’re ready! xoxo

When’s the last time you did something or rather didn’t do something because you were fearful of what others thought? I up until very recently used to live most of my life this way, trying to cater to a reality that I assumed others would be appreciative and accepting of. I had little to no boundaries with my work and even with new relationships with others, and slowly but surely I started to let other’s opinions and thoughts of me, affect the things I wanted and dreamed of doing. Looking back to just a few months ago leading up to my rebrand, I’m so grateful, I learned just in the nick of time how to just do it and forget what anyone has to say about any of the decisions I ultimately choose to make.

I’ve said it a few times here on the blog already, but 2013 has been such a wonderful year so far. I’ve been working so hard to implement positive changes in my life after a super rocky 2012 and I owe so much of it to the incredible people who have supported, loved and cheered me on. But it’s sometimes still so hard for me to just do things even when I know they are best for me but maybe not what everyone else wants to hear. Maybe you feel your parents aren’t supportive of your ideas and dreams, maybe you think your significant other will deem your business venture a waste of time or maybe you’re holding back on expanding your business or adding a new skill set to it because you’re sure your colleagues will have less than stellar reactions. Think of all the times you’ve felt this way. Eye opening, right?

When I attended Making Things Happen last fall we had to go around the room and let everyone know what fires us up. I think I may have gone first here but the first thing that came out of my mouth before I could even stop myself was ‘Flowers!’ Flowers fire me up! I remember a few people laughed a little and sweet Lara you made me repeat what I said because I too was giggling a little. But how simple is that? That flowers can bring someone like me so much joy. And with that love for blooms, I knew then pretty well and absolutely know very well now, I have an ability and a passion to make my business more inclusive, to incorporate something I love into my work and to make my clients so truly happy. Here I was up until then, for about a year, feeling shy and scared of what others would think if I did just that.

Today I urge you to do something that you know is right for you even if you’re fearful of what others think. Cool?

Cool. Happy Tuesday, bloggies! Get out there and live your life xoxo Photo via the incredible Leah Mullett.

We’ve adapted this new routine around here in the Banda-Bosse household. Since I typically go to bed earlier than Andrew, I’m the first to brush my teeth and snuggle into to bed every night. But lately I’ve been asking him to bring Zoe upstairs so we can all hang out together before I drift off to sleep. Zoe isn’t typically allowed upstairs because she’s a downstairs dog and we want to allow Chenks to have his own safe zone and space, but at night we make exceptions. Andrew and I talk about our days together, about our goals, about one day when we might have kids, about what kind of food we’re craving at that very moment because it’s a given we’re craving something and Chenks sleeps at our feet while Zoe sleeps up by our pillows. Last night we all feel asleep together and Andrew ended up waking at midnight to bring Zoe back down to her crate. And for the first time in a while I felt like our little family was just perfect.

I’m feeling a lot of changes from the beginning of the new year starting to become habit. Do you guys feel it too? One of the things I wanted to change this year was spending more time with my family and I’m so grateful for that. I encourage you to find something to turn into a tradition in your home too. It can be simple, free, easy or whatever but I promise those little moments will mean so much to you and leave you feeling refreshed and best of all, grateful for what you have right in front of you. And this is coming from a girl who vowed to never be that couple who lets the dog snuggle in bed. You win, Zoe. You win. Photo above by the sweet Kelly Braman. She’s the best xoxo