I have to write this today. And just let the words flow out, yo!

Not to sound like a broken record here, but last year around this time now I was an emotional mess. I had a hard exterior and everything in my life put together but inside I was sad, sad, sad and frustrated more than ever. Did I mention sad? One day I’ll share more on why I felt this way but for now it’s not important. What’s important is what I am about to tell you below. Forgive me for so many words but I’m a big advocate for making decisions in life that are in line with living your best life. I didn’t always think this way but I do now and it’s a good thing. I’m a super sensitive, wear-my-heart-on-my-sleeve kind of girl and can easily get upset over something insignificant or temporary so I’m often thinking of ways to maintain my positivity and focus on the good. Sometimes, that doesn’t always happen. Sometimes life sucks and you have to kick yourself in the ass to regroup. Here’s what I think and wanted to share.

Define What Matters. You know what matters to me right now? My husband matters. Our marriage really matters. The third year of marriage is the hardest. I know this because that’s where we are right now in our journey together. Marriage is like the female body in a sense. Yeah it sounds wacko but stick with me here. In high school some girls have these rocking bodies and a metabolism that can process McDonalds and late night pizza runs like a boss (I wasn’t one of those girls FYI). We buy teen mags with airbrushed women posing provocatively on the front and constantly feel like our worth is determined by how we too look; in real un-airbrushed life that is. Then we get a bit older and life catches up with us. Our hard as hell work outs don’t seem to do much. We think man I had it GOOD in high school and didn’t even have to walk a mile before dropping five pounds. As time goes on you realize you can’t just sit around and expect to feel or look good. You have to WORK at it. Marriage is like that to me. You want to reap the benefits of a healthy and loving marriage? You have to WORK. And the work is so so worth it as I’ve learned in the past month. Do. Work.

My family matters. My future family and whether or not it involves babies matters. My job and my business and my clients matter. My home and how it feels and looks matter. Yup how it looks matters to me. This doesn’t mean it’s perfect. It doesn’t mean we have the nicest or most expensive things. It just means it’s where I am the most physically, as a working-from-home-professional and self-proclaimed home-body, and if I’m going to live here and make memories here, I want it to be in a way that makes me happy. My health, our crazy pets, our well-being, our space, our free time, all of these things matter. My close friends, the ones who call to check on me, who listen to me on the phone, who send sweet notes and give me love love love, these people matter. Everything else? Does not matter. Not important.

You Are Enough. Why do we tell ourselves we’re not enough? Why do we let others make us feel like we aren’t enough? This sweet thing wrote a post on instagram yesterday that reminded me of the post I wrote over here. I’m ALWAYS feeling like I’m not enough guys. Maybe I don’t share it publicly but it happens often especially as of late. I’m not skinny enough, pretty enough, rich enough, successful enough, my two college degrees are somewhere out there (seriously, I don’t even have them framed and couldn’t tell you where they are right now. I’m embarrassed) and not doing much for me, I’m not saving lives, I’m not making serious bank, I’m shopping at Hobby Lobby during my business hours looking for the perfect shade of soft ble ribbon for a ceiling treatment. What? I can’t cook a carrot cake from scratch, I can’t wake up at 5:30 am to go to the gym like some women do. I can’t stay up past 11:00 pm because I get sleepy like a baby. I can’t remember my times tables past the 5′s. I can not run a mile if I tried. I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t. I’m sick of it.

Because I am. I am more than enough. I am a good wife. I am a good fur baby mom. I’m not a real human mom (ha that sounds funny doesn’t it?) because right now wouldn’t be a fair time to bring a life into this world and I think that means I’m enough in and of itself. That’s a decision Andrew and I have made together as a team, and that’s enough too. I’m not saving lives but instead I’m enriching them. And helping people make beautiful and special memories. I’m not rich but I’m fulfilled. I’m so creative and have so much to give it hurts sometimes. That’s plenty. And those Hobby Lobby trips, as trivial as they feel, are what I’m paid to do. So I should embrace it and know that I am enough. Enough already with not feeling like we’re enough as women, business owners, moms, wives, teachers, people, friends, whatever. We are all enough. More than enough most days. We need to start believing it and telling others to know and believe it too.

Define Your Own Version of Success. I was on the phone with my sweet friend Leah this morning for almost an hour. God I love that girl and am so thankful our paths crossed early last year because she’s become a true friend and such a bright spot in my life. Leah is a perfect example of focusing on what matters. She inspires me DAILY to just let go. New followers? More weddings? More overtime in the office? More superficial being? Hell no. Ain’t nobody got time for that. We talked today and I told her the only thing holding me back these days is MYSELF. Because I have this stupid crazy hard time defining my version of success sometimes. Success so often is what everyone else makes it out to be. Success to some is more followers, more features, 25 weddings a year, more comments on a post, more money, more friends, more more more. I’m sick of that too. Because more is further away from enough and the only way you’re going to live a fulfilled, happy and menaingful life is to define your own version of success. Write it down. Memorize it.

With that being said I’m off tonight to the airport with my husband. We are meeting my parents, my brother, and an old neighbor friend of ours, in sunny, beautiful, Jamaica. I had to write this post before I left because the jumble of words above has been heavy on my heart. I hope whoever you are, wherever you are, whatever you do or are planning to do, that you know you’re enough. The photo above was taken in Chicago by my sweet friend Shalyn. Who just announced her business’ new name. Hooray! Head over to her blog to check it out. Enjoy your day and I’ll be back next week xoxo

Happy April 1st, friends!

I love April. Not as much as I love May (we’ll get to that next month) but it’s a nice change of pace from January, February and March here in the Midwest. The birds have been out in the morning, the sky’s been a bit bluer than normal, we’ve started to put the snow shovels away and my favorite of all, wedding season is closer than ever. I always feel like the months leading up to my first wedding of the year seem to drag on but we all know 2013 is just flying by. I feel like I have just so much to be grateful for. So here we go. A few goals I’m focusing on for the next five weeks.

Clutter-Free Living. Andrew and I have been doing some serious spring cleaning around here before we leave for a much-needed vacation tomorrow. And we generally pride ourselves on being minimalists but man we have a lot of crap. Like a lot of clothes we don’t wear, towels and sheets we don’t use, furniture in the basement we can’t put anywhere. I always think if I hold on to something it will come in handy one day but then that day never comes and the crap piles up. I’d like to donate the things we no longer need and use so when we get back from vacation, I’m making it a point to go through our basement and closets and get everything together to get rid of. Just typing this out feels freeing!

Stuff-Free Living. Going off of the above, and inspired by the lovely Nancy Ray, I want to try a month long challenge of not buying any ‘stuff’. This is going to be way hard for me, guys. I’m one of those people that buys things for instant gratification and comfort. Sort of like how some people eat food to fill voids. Booked a new client? Buy a new pair of shoes. Not happy with something in my life? Buy a new home decor piece. This way of thinking and living has got to end or change because it’s not conducive to purposeful living; at least for me personally. Or for my bank account. If you need more motivation or inspiration on taking this wonderful challenge read this blog post here that started it all.

Domesticated Living. I used to put in a ton of effort when it came to cooking dinners and desserts for Andrew and I. I think this is actually how I won him over in college when I was a sophomore living in my first apartment across the hall from Andrew’s :) That guy was lucky and got fancy dinners 24/7! Then I got lazy, life got busy and I figured I didn’t need to try any more in the kitchen since Andrew loves to cook. So I didn’t. And it’s not fair to Andrew. This past weekend I actually set out to try and be more of a help in the kitchen. I tied on my apron and whipped out a carrot cake, a pasta dish and a Frito frittata. The fritatta was a success. The other two dishes, not so much. But A for effort right? I already feel like I’m doing good and even contributing to my marriage so I’d love to do more cooking and baking in April too.

What are you all shooting for this month? Spill your goals below :) xoxo

Oh and the photo above is one I took of my office space. One of my goals was to pick up my camera more! Score.

I’m sure you’ve heard of the Pay It Forward movement. You know, cover the cost of groceries for the teary eyed mom with three kids in front of you when her two cards decline. Or help carry the elderly man’s groceries to his car in the pouring rain. Or my personal fave because it’s so easy and unexpected, pay for the person’s Starbucks drink behind you in line just to make them smile. What’s a couple extra bucks every now and then, right? They always say, the best way to lift your spirits is to lift someone else’s first. It seems an unlikely truth but one that certainly holds its own weight.

This morning my sleepy behind ventured out to my local Starbucks nice and early to tackle a pile of work that needs my attention. I stood in line behind seven people, with not one person coming in behind me. It wasn’t until I gave my card to the cashier that I felt someone finally step in line at my back. I turned around and asked the middle aged man standing there what he wanted. I had to actually ask him a few times because he was so surprised I wanted to cover his order. “Why are you being so nice?” he asked carefully. I simply told him that it’s important to pay it forward in life.

I come to find out that this man was buying a Skinny Caramel Macchiato for his wife. His wife just lost her Dad and was feeling really down so he was getting a drink for her. I told him that I hoped her drink brought her a sliver of comfort in this tough time. And when I sat back down at my table to open my laptop I saw him stand in front of the Starbucks window and wave bye to me. He mouthed ‘Thank you’ again and nodded his head to me before hopping in his truck to leave. That’s when I noticed he was wearing my alma mater’s mascot and letters on his sweat shirt and hat.

The world has the potential to be so so great. I believe it and know it’s possible with something as simple as buying a stranger’s coffee. So whose with me? I encourage you too to pay it forward somehow today whether it be a big or really small gesture of kindness and love. Let me know below what you love to do to pay it forward! Above photo from the amazing Shay Nelson who is one of my faves to enjoy coffee with. Go give her a hello! Happy Tuesday, guys xo

In a wedding world that places so much emphasis on all the pretty things and little details (which I obviously and absolutely adore!) some soon to be brides and grooms can forget the most important part of their big day; you know, the part where you officially become married to your significant other. I know from my experiences working with my clients, that finding that balance between ceremonial tradition and a uniqueness that won’t bore your guests to sleep, can be tough. The good news is there are so many endless options for making your ceremony reflective of you and your fiance. Here’s my thoughts on what you can do to make your ceremony be the best part of your wedding day!

Engage Your Guests If having your guests fall asleep as you say I Do has you dreading your current ceremony plans, think about involving them into the act. There are so many ways to do this and the best part is your guests will appreciate the honor and be more likely to stay awake and alert. For those non-church weddings, you could have your guests sit in a circular formation around your alter, signifying your audience completing the union between you and your soon to be spouse. Consider passing your wedding rings around the room, inviting guests to ‘bless’ each ring as it is passed along (we did this ourselves and our guests absolutely loved it). Or have your officiant invite three to five guests at random, as they wish, to stand and share advice on marriage in lieu of a traditional reading or verse. Guests will love the change of pace and are sure to stay engaged in your ceremony especially if they know you’re depending on them.

Skip Tradition Maybe you’re a nontraditional kind of couple. Sand ceremonies? Yuck. Unity candles? No thanks. Singing your vows with your musical-lover fiance? Awesome. Someone do this and hire me to plan that celebration please and thank you! So many brides and grooms fear the nontraditional. It’s an unspoken rule that ceremonies have to be done a certain way (which sometimes they do) but truth be told you can do whatever you’d like as you and your spouse make a commitment to on another (pending church/religious rules). Maybe you’d like to walk down the aisle alone. Or walk down the aisle with your soon to be husband! As long as your sign a license and follow your country’s or state’s guidelines on what must be said and done during the ceremony (In Ontario our officiant had to say by law “by the power invested in me” part) feel free to do whatever best represents you and your fiance’s love, relationship and style.

Add A Bit Of Tradition With that being said, if you want to still follow some sort of tradition, there are a few things that are totally fun and traditional to do it would be a bummer not to include them. My personal faves both personally and professionally? Walking down the aisle, kissing your new spouse for the first time, or even giving your husband the best accessory he will ever own :) As much as you want your ceremony to stand out from the others your guests have seen, it is a wedding ceremony and you’ll want some components to reflect that (and believe me so will your parents and if applicable, your sweet grandma). Your guests are there to love and support you, and regardless of how you say I Do it’s a given they’ll cheer you on as you walk back down the aisle as husband and wife, sand ceremony or not.

Married chicks, what did you do during your ceremony that was unique? What about tradition? What ideas can you share with brides to be? The gorgeous photo above is from an amazing HGE summer wedding last year at The Grosse Pointe War Memorial. Amy Carroll shot that beautiful celebration. That dress gets me every time! xoxo

If you’re anything like me and work within the wedding industry, a good chunk of your job is done through email. I’d actually say that 90% of my day to day work and duties involve using my email in some sort of way, so you can imagine staying on top of things can be difficult especially when you throw in out of the office and day of wedding work. If you follow along over on Instagram you’ll know that last week I finally got back down to the highly coveted inbox zero (the best feeling ever) and I wanted to share a few of the ways I’m try my very best to keep things streamlined nicely.

Don’t Bury Yourself. Does this sound at all familiar? You get an email, read it, know the follow up action needed but for some reason, click back to your inbox and tell yourself you’ll deal with it later. And later usually means days or even weeks later when said message is buried below 20 to 30 other new and equally as important emails. Then you get annoyed and overwhelmed. This used to be my weakness when it came to controlling the messages in my email. So now when I get something in my inbox I have to really make a decision on what action I need to take. I can RESPOND right away with a necessary response (sometimes a call needs to be made on my behalf), I can FILE the message into a necessary folder (if it’s a shipping notification for something like linens or something about a client’s event) or I can DELETE the message if it’s not important or relevant. I think it was Lara who said emails are just a bunch of decisions. Some decisions are easier than others but ultimately you have control over everything that pops into your inbox.

Keep Things Organized. Is your physical desk space cluttered and messy? Can you find what you need? Do you feel inspired looking at stuff all day? I know I don’t when my physical space is cluttered, and the same holds true for my email inbox. Just like you have desk drawers, filing cabinets, folders in your cabinets and storage cubes to keep your office things organized you have access to email folders which is a tool you should be taking full advantage of. I have three primary folder types in my account: the folders given to my clients (each couple gets their own), a Business folder with specific sub folders underneath and a Personal folder, also with more specific sub folders underneath. When I respond to an email or know I need to keep an email for future reference it goes into a folder. Here’s a little peek!

Create a System. It may seem complicated to others but I’ve really created a system here that makes sense for me and allows me to not only feel but be productive. Together with my Martha Stewart planner, colored labels, trusty pencils (I never use pens) and color coded email folders, I have a system that allows me to keep track of client related emails, important information like receipts, vendor communications, and digital files, all while remaining clutter free and simplified (I also have a big binder with dividers and colored tabls for my events by year which holds floor plans, floral recipes, timelines and sketches but that’s another story). If I get an email about an appointment, I track it in my planner, respond to the email with my RSVP and then I DELETE it. The colored tabs on my planner are similar to the color folders in my email and visually keep me in line by reminding me everything has a pretty little place to go!

A few other things that help keep me on track?

If I can’t see negative space below my bottom most message, I get antsy so as a general rule of thumb I usually try to fluctuate around 10 to 15 messages on any day where I can’t give all of my time to managing my emails. If something is in my inbox, it means I have to still make a decision on it. Nothing gets filed, or deleted until I have done an ACTION to get the email anywhere but in my main inbox. I try to keep things as specific as possible with my folder names so that I can keep track of all threads within my business. In the middle screen shot above you’ll see there’s 13 sub folders within my Business branch. Seems like a lot huh? Well let me tell you when I need to find an email that has to do with an upcoming editorial, a former wedding of mine, a business that advertises here on the blog or a receipt my bookkeeper needs, I know exactly where to go. Oh and last year I unsubscribed from every single website I’ve ever registered with, with the exception of Kate Spade, Staples, and BHLDN. If I need something from J. Crew, I’ll go get it at my leisure.

A clean inbox is like a clean house. A consistent effort yields impressive results. And deserve a glass of wine :)